The characters, plotlines, quotes, etc. included here are owned by Chris Carter and 1013 Productions, all rights reserved. The following transcript is in no way a substitute for the show "The X Files" and is merely meant as a homage. This transcript is not authorized or endorsed by Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, or Fox Entertainment. It was painstakingly typed out by Intrepidly and DrWeesh, and made available for your personal enjoyment by me, DrWeesh from my website, InsideTheX.




SCENE 1

(An unknown H.S. Baseball Field.)

(Hand-held video cameras where the video feed is shaky at best. Wild Whooping off to the side. A young high school teenager comes into view. He's the one whooping.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Yeah, dudes! Welcome to your Dumb Ass Show! I am Sky Commander Winky and this is the beautiful Captain Dare!

(A second high school teenager comes into view. Both kids are very in the camera's face. They seem to be close friends.)

CAPTAIN DARE: Yeah, baby! Woo-hoo!

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: The biggest Dumb Ass I know.

(SKY COMMANDER WINKY hands CAPTAIN DARE the football helmet.)

CAPTAIN DARE: Thank you, Sky Commander.

(CAPTAIN DARE puts the football helmet on.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Yes, Captain Dare will show you what a dumb ass he really is. But be forewarned, only a stupid dumb ass would neglect to take every safety precaution in the stunts you're about to witness. C'mon!

(CAPTAIN DARE hits the helmet into place and lets out a grunt. The two boys run several steps nearby. The camera is still on SKY COMMANDER WINKY as he picks up a baseball and stops in front what looks like a baseball pitching machine. CAPTAIN DARE runs out of view of the camera.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Now, the physics alone took almost five minutes of calculations. (The machine pitches. With barely a glance at the ball, SKY COMMANDER WINKY is happy with the trajectory.) Oh, oh... yes! (He gives the camera a thumb's up.)

(CAPTAIN DARE is standing at home plate. His arms and feet spread wide, a sure target for the speeding baseball. A small crowd of onlookers stand behind the fence behind him. CAPTAIN DARE prepares himself.)

CAPTAIN DARE: Yeah, dude, fire when ready.

(The machine fires and the baseball hits him square in the groin. CAPTAIN DARE falls to the ground in pain.)

CAPTAIN DARE: Aah, mother( bleep )! What the ( bleep )!

(SKY COMMANDER WINKY joins his buddy on the ground. He's pleased and stoked at the success of the project. CAPTAIN DARE is still on the ground doubled over and groaning in pain.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Now that's a dumb ass! Oh, right in the ( bleep ) target!




SCENE 2

(An unknown empty road.)

(CAPTAIN DARE is sitting in something big, something plastic and something blue. His football helmet fit snugly on his head.)

CAPTAIN DARE: Hey, Natalie, come here. How about a kiss for good luck?

(NATALIE stands off to the side. She is not happy, her arms crossed in front of her.)

NATALIE GORDON: Bill, why are you doing this?

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: His name's Captain Dare and he'll be famous one day for going where no dudes have gone before.

(CAPTAIN DARE is sitting in a port-a-potty. The door is still open.)

CAPTAIN DARE: Hey, if you won't give me a kiss how about throwing me a magazine?

(The crowd laughs. SKY COMMANDER WINKY closes the door to the port-a-pottie. Someone in the crowd playfully retches. A blue car accelerates. As it moves down the road, a rope tied to the port-a-pottie pulls it along behind it. The crowd cheers and runs after it. The port-a-pottie stays upright for about 2 seconds before it tilts over onto its side, down the side of the road and over onto itself. SKY COMMANDER WINKY exits the car, cheering.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Yeah! Yeah! Oh, yeah!

(SKY COMMANDER WINKY runs straight in front of the hand-held video camera. He points down to the tilted port-a-pottie.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Hey, hey ... that ... that is it! Whoo! There it is!

(CAPTAIN DARE emerges from the port-a-pottie.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: There it is, yes! That is a dumb ass! That is a dumb ass!

(He runs straight toward SKY COMMANDER WINKY and the camera, his arms raised in victory. CAPTAIN DARE is soaked. CAPTAIN DARE and SKY COMMANDER WINKY run toward each other as if to embrace, but SKY COMMANDER WINKY gets out of CAPTAIN DARE's way. CAPTAIN DARE runs straight into the unsuspecting crowd. The crowd disburses and CAPTAIN DARE runs straight for NATALIE. NATALIE runs away. Everyone in the crowd, except for one, cheers and whoops their encouragement to CAPTAIN DARE.)

SCENE #3: "CART OF DOOM"

(SKY COMMANDER WINKY pushes a shopping cart uphill and speaks to the hand-held video camera.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: ... and now, the awesome Captain Dare will make dumb ass history in the scientifically-modified shopping cart of doom --- rolling down this hill hitting the launch ramp at an estimated 24.6 miles an hour sailing just over the scrumptious Natalie Gordon who will be holding this flaming torch in her mouth.

(NATALIE is talking with CAPTAIN DARE on the side when she hears SKY COMMANDER WINKY's words. She pulls away from CAPTAIN DARE to interrupt SKY COMMANDER WINKY.)

NATALIE GORDON: Whoa, I didn't say I was going to do anything.

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: What? I is the money shot, Natalie. We need you. Captain, will you tell her?

CAPTAIN DARE (BILL): Yeah, come on, Natalie ... what could go wrong?

NATALIE GORDON: What could go wrong?! You mean besides landing on me and crushing my head, Bill? (NATALIE pushes the video camera away from her face.) Would you...?

(The camera focuses on SKY COMMANDER WINKY.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY (whispering): It'll be killer. The Captain will jump her, her torch will set the cart on fire-- whoosh-- and our daring hero rolling on to salvation into the pool of life. Triumphant.

(The camera moves to focus on the little plastic kiddie blow-up swimming pool set up a few feet past the ramp.)

CAPTAIN DARE (BILL): Natalie, come on, just do it for me, please? Please? Please?

THE CROWD: Yeah, come on, Natalie.

CAPTAIN DARE (BILL): Come on.

(Everyone on the Crowd, except for one, goads Natalie into doing the stunt.)

(The hand-held video camera cuts to show us NATALIE lying down on the asphalt and a kid lighting a sparkler held in her mouth. From beyond the ramp, CAPTAIN DARE sits in the shopping cart of doom with SKY COMMANDER WINKY by his side.

SKY COMMANDER WINKY (from the distance): You're going to freaking fly man! This is going to be spectacular! (SKY COMMANDER WINKY hands CAPTAIN DARE his football helmet and CAPTAIN DARE puts it on.) Okay, you can do this! You are the man! Go and act Dumb Ass. (He gives CAPTAIN DARE an encouraging slap on the back.)

CAPTAIN DARE (from the distance): I'm the man! I'm the man!

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Captain Dumb Ass !

(SKY COMMANDER WINKY pushes the cart forward. CAPTAIN DARE in the cart begins its descent down the hill. CAPTAIN DARE and SKY COMMANDER WINKY are both yelling. The crowd cheers. CAPTAIN DARE clutches his helmet and yells. The cart veers off course. CAPTAIN DARE is still clutching his helmet and screaming. The cart crashes on the side of the road, tilts over and CAPTAIN DARE spills out of the cart. He rolls a few feet down the hill. He is not moving. The crowd cheers.)

(NATALIE gets up and rushes over to the unmoving CAPTAIN DARE. NATALIE rolls him over. SKY COMMANDER WINKY saunters to the front of the hand-held video camera.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Now that's a dumb ass.

(He turns to his friend who is still unmoving on the ground.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY: Come on, Bill, get up! Hey, Bill!

(NATALIE is crying. SKY COMMANDER WINKY removes CAPTAIN DARE'S helmet. His head is deflated like a basketball. It's caved in. NATALIE's screaming now. The crowd is horrified and silent.)




[OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS] [OPENING CREDITS]




SCENE 3
MEDICAL EXAMINER'S UNIT
OCEAN COUNTRY, NEW JERSEY

(Elevator bell dings and the doors open. DOGGETT and REYES emerge. DR. FOUNTAIN meets them in the hallway and walks with them to the autopsy room.)

DR. FOUNTAIN: Thanks for coming so quickly.

REYES: Are you the medical examiner?

DR. FOUNTAIN: Yes, yes, I'm Dr. Fountain. And you're the experts from the FBI?

DOGGETT: The experts?

DR. FOUNTAIN: Well, I was told you were the experts.

REYES: We work on the X-Files. Our expertise is the unexplained.

DOGGETT: We were told you had an unexplained death here.

DR. FOUNTAIN: Well, you're the experts you tell me.

(They enter the room where the body is kept.)

DOGGETT: So why don't you explain exactly what happened here, doctor?

DR. FOUNTAIN: Well, I can't. That's the point.

REYES: You can't tell us anything?

DR. FOUNTAIN: Well, all things considered, I'd prefer not to go on record.

DOGGETT: Why is that?

DR. FOUNTAIN: Well, it's the kid's parents. They're suing everyone.

REYES: For what?

DR. FOUNTAIN: Everything. They're suing the county for making the street too steep, the supermarket he stole the shopping cart from, the company that made the helmet he was wearing.

(DOGGETT and REYES look at each other. DOGGETT moves over to the covered body and removes the sheet. He and REYES look over the boy's deflated head.)

DOGGETT: Off the record, Doc ... what the hell has that got to do with a supermarket shopping cart?

DR. FOUNTAIN: You familiar with The Dumb Ass Show?

REYES: The Dumb Ass Show?

DR. FOUNTAIN: It's a cable TV show where the kids act like, well, dumb asses. They videotape themselves doing stupid stunts.

DOGGETT: You mean this was an accident?

DR. FOUNTAIN: I'd prefer not to get sucked into a legal nightmare here. You investigate the unexplained. How about you explain it to me?

(DOGGETT and REYES look at each other. REYES looks over at the body and notices movement behind the boy's closed eye lids.)

REYES: Dr. Fountain, do you see this?

DOGGETT: What the hell is that?

DR. FOUNTAIN: You're asking me?

(REYES picks up a pair of forceps from the tray next to her and prys the eyelid open. Flies emerge and engulf them.)




SCENE 4

(Medical Examiner'S Unit.)

(Elevator bell dings and the doors open. SCULLY walks out and is immediately flanked by both DOGGETT and REYES.)

DOGGETT: Thanks for coming so quickly.

SCULLY: The message said urgent. What is it you want me to look at here?

DOGGETT: We were hoping you could tell us.

(DR. FOUNTAIN joins the group.)

DR. FOUNTAIN: Is, uh, she the expert?




SCENE 5

(Autopsy Room.)

(SCULLY is looking at CAPTAIN DARE'S head. She puts the instrument she's holding aside and takes off her protective eyewear.)

DR. FOUNTAIN: Well? What do you think?

SCULLY: Well, I have to say that, uh... I've never seen anything quite like this before.

(DR. FOUNTAIN shakes his head, disappointed, and walks out of the room. They watch him leave.)

DOGGETT: Well, something killed this kid.

SCULLY: Well, judging from the amount of insect faeces in the ear and nasal cavities it appears that they fed at such a furious rate that it caused the boy's skull to collapse from the inside. His helmet protected his head during the there is no impact trauma here whatsoever. None.

REYES: You're saying flies killed him.

(SCULLY shrugs. She moves aside and removes her gloves and heads to her laptop.)

DOGGETT: All the kids at the scene ... and the flies choose to attack this boy? Why?

REYES: Maybe they were attracted for reasons we're not seeing.

DOGGETT: What if somebody put something in his helmet? Insect pheromone. You know, "Spanish Fly"--that stuff you see advertised in the back of magazines that guys use to attract girls. (REYES looks at DOGGETT.) I glance at them for amusement.

SCULLY: I may have to brush up on my "Spanish Fly" but I don't think the science works that way. Anyway, before we start looking for M.O., I want to find out what kind of fly would act that aggressively.

(From the doorway, a voice interrupts.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: The musca vetustissima walker. The Australian Bush Fly. It craves protein so much it will actually crawl into your open nose, mouth, ears even your eyes to feed on nutritious blood and moisture. Though the New Zealand screw-worm fly often kills its victims in mere moments by burrowing into an open wound or cut.

(SCULLY silently stares at him. He reaches over and grabs her hand and shakes it.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: I'm sorry. I'm Dr. Rocky Bronzino. (He turns to DOGGETT.) Hi. Rocky Bronzino. (He turns to REYES.) Hello there. Rocky Bronzino, field entomological expert at Rutgers University, at your service.

SCULLY: Dr. Bronzino ...

ROCKY BRONZINO: Rocky.

SCULLY: These flies you mentioned neither of them are indigenous to North America. Are you suggesting that we've got a virulent foreign vector here?

(ROCKY BRONZINO holds up the bottle of flies.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: No. The specimens you collected are your garden-variety calliphorid. Harmless as, well... flies.

DOGGETT: What are you suggesting then?

ROCKY BRONZINO: Nothing. Dr. Fountain brought me in for my scientific expertise. And I must say ... (He turns to look directly at SCULLY.) I'm glad he did.

REYES: Dr. Bronzino, you should know we may be looking at a murder.

ROCKY BRONZINO: A murder? Are there any suspects?

(REYES walks over to him and picks up the bottle of flies. She hands it to him. He takes the bottle and looks at it with scepticism.)




SCENE 6
GARFIELD HIGH SCHOOL
MANAHAWKIN, NEW JERSEY

(NATALIE sits alone at a table picking at her lunch. Off to the side, a boy sits along at another table watching her. Someone passes near him and unintentionally hits him with his backpack. It's DAVID WINKLE aka SKY COMMANDER WINKY and his hand-held video cameraman in tow.)

DAVID WINKLE (to the camera): Natalie Gordon -- the lady in Captain Dare's short life and the last person to see him alive.

(DAVID WINKLE approaches NATALIE and stops by her table. She looks up at him angrily.)

NATALIE GORDON: Leave me alone, Winky.

DAVID WINKLE: It's for The Dumb Ass Memorial Video. For our fallen hero. Just a few words for Captain Dare, come on.

NATALIE GORDON (angry with grief): You want a few words, Winky? You're a jerk! And so is your brother for making Bill do all those stupid stunts.

DAVID WINKLE: Hey, Captain Dare died doing what he loved! (Behind him, the boy watching Natalie on the other table, stands up as if to intervene. Natalie notices him.) Pushing the envelope. Maybe if you weren't such a ...

(DAVID WINKLE sees the boy standing and stares at him. The boy backs down and sits back down. DAVID WINKLE and his cameraman brother approach the boy.)

DAVID WINKLE: Hey, you! Freaky-deaky. You want your own memorial, huh? You want to be in Dumb Ass?

(DAVID WINKLE pinks up a piece of someone's dessert.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Just leave her alone.

DAVID WINKLE: I'm talking to you now, freak.

(DAVID WINKLE smashes the dessert plate onto DYLAN LOKENSGARD'S head. He pushes DYLAN backwards and onto the floor. Others in the lunchroom laugh at the display.)

PRINCIPAL LOKENSGARD: David Winkle. In my office, right now!

DAVID WINKLE (to DYLAN): Typical. Lokensgard's going to have his mommy stick up for him. Baby.

(DAVID WINKLE makes his way to Principal Lokensgard. DYLAN watches as his mother signals that she wants to speak with him, too. DYLAN picks up his backpack, ignores his mother and walks away. He passes by NATALIE who wants to say something to him, but doesn't. She watches him leave.)




SCENE 7

(Principal Lokensgard's Office.)

(The hand-held video camera of the port-a-pottie train plays on the television set. The crowd is cheering. The car accelerates with the port-a-pottie in tow.)

(DOGGETT and REYES are watching the video. DOGGETT is amused by what he sees on the screen. REYES turns to watch DOGGETT. DOGGETT is holding the television remove and fast forwards to the port-a-pottie overturned on the side. SKY COMMANDER WINKIE is in the camera pointing at the overturned port-a-pottie and yelling "That is it! That is it! Whoo! There it is ! There it is! ... ")

DOGGETT: I think I just solved this case. This kid had crap for brains and the flies couldn't resist.

REYES: Oh, and you were such a choirboy growing up?

DOGGETT: I mean, we did some stupid stuff but we didn't know it was stupid at the time. This isn't just stupid, this is glorification of stupid. These kids take enormous pride in being sub-mental.

REYES (amused): That's why they call it Dumb Ass.

(On the video, the kids in the crowd are cheering. REYES notices that not all the kids are cheering. There is one who is not. The door to the office opens, Principal Lokensgard appears with DAVID WINKLE and introduces him to the agents.)

PRINCIPAL LOKENSGARD: Mr. David Winkle.

DOGGETT: Sky Pilot Winky. Just the man we want to see. Come on in.

[On the video in the background) Winky: ...Hitting the launch ramp at an estimated 24.6 miles an hour sailing over the scrumptious Natalie Gordon ... ]

(DAVID WINKLE enters the room and takes a seat. The agents remain standing. DAVID WINKLE looks back on Principal LOKENSGARD. She looks at him and leaves, closing the door behind her. DAVID WINKLE scratches his back.)

DOGGETT (indicating the video behind them): That's very entertaining, Sky Pilot.

DAVID WINKLE: Sky Commander, if you don't mind.

DOGGETT: And you can call me Sheriff John when I haul your dumb ass off to jail, Winky.

(DAVID WINKLE sits up in his chair. He scratches his back.)

DAVID WINKLE: What are you talking about?

REYES: We obtained a copy of a recent e-mail you sent offering to sell the video of your friend's death to the fox network.

DAVID WINKLE: What? No, no, no, I wrote all the networks. Fox was the only one who had any interest in it.

(DAVID WINKLE scratches his back.)

REYES: I don't think you understand.

DAVID WINKLE: Wait ... you think I killed him? You think I killed Captain Dare to make money? My best friend?

DOGGETT: Well, looking at this video you were the last person to have contact with him. You handed him his helmet at the top of the hill. I think you put something in it.

(DAVID WINKLE stands up, still scratching his back.

DOGGETT: Sit down, Sky Commander ...

DAVID WINKLE: I can't! I'm being attacked! Oh, god, it's happening to me!

(DAVID stands up and pulls his shirt off. DOGGETT and REYES notice the words "DUMB ASS" on his lower back.)

SKY COMMANDER WINKY (from the video): Now that's a dumb ass!




SCENE 8

(Lokensgard's Residence.)

(DYLAN LOKENSGARD comes home. His mother is waiting for him.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Where you been? Dinner's been on the table almost an hour, young man.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I'm not hungry.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Well, then, you sit down here until you get hungry, Dylan. I have something to talk to you about. Dylan!

(DYLAN goes into his bedroom, he shuts the door and takes off his jacket. He sits on his bed and turns the CD/radio on. PINK FLOYD music fills the room. DYLAN lies down on his bed. He picks up a class picture of NATALIE and looks at it.)

[PINK FLOYD MUSIC: It's no trying to place your hand where I can't see because I understand that you're different from me ]

(DYLAN'S MOTHER is knocking on his bedroom door.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Dylan?

(DYLAN ignores his mother and increases the volume of the music he's listening to so that he can't hear her.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Dylan?

[PINK FLOYD MUSIC: Yes, I can tell that you can't be ... ]

(More knocking on his bedroom door. DYLAN ignores his mother and shuts his eyes so that he might hide from his mother and from the world.)

[PINK FLOYD MUSIC: ...What you pretend ]

(DYLAN closes his eyes. The room around him grows darker. Bugs / insects congregate outside his window covering it so that no light can come in. The bugs cover the walls in his room. The wall around him is covered with ants. DYLAN continues to have his eyes tightly shut.)

[PINK FLOYD MUSIC: ... and you're rocking backwards and you're rocking towards .. ]




SCENE 9

(Medical Examiner'S Office.)

(SCULLY is examining the fly under a high-powered microscope. Behind her, the door opens. REYES and DOGGETT walk in.)

SCULLY: I'm glad you're here. I think we just got our first real break.

REYES: What did you find?

SCULLY: Well, it's what the entomologist Rocky Bronzino found. The flies that ate at the brain and skull of the victim are all female. Every last one of them.

DOGGETT: Exactly how is that a break?

SCULLY: Well, what are the chances of that?

REYES: You mean that the absence of males suggests there's a reason for the attack. Behaviourally.

SCULLY: Well, something biological is going on. Whether it's hormonal or chemical something has caused these bugs to attack.

DOGGETT: Or a need to express themselves.

SCULLY: To what?

DOGGETT: This is a kid that calls himself "Sky Commander Winky." Agent Reyes and I were interviewing him as a suspect when this happened.

(DOGGETT hands SCULLY a photograph of DAVID WINKLE's back. The words "DUMB ASS" clearly on his lower back.)

DOGGETT: The paramedics arrived and treated him for an aggressive attack of body lice.

SCULLY: Hmm. Lice are not altogether uncommon in a school environment.

DOGGETT: Except that these are better spellers than most of the kids.

SCULLY: So what are you saying? That this is just another dumb ass stunt?

REYES: Well, that was my first thought. But the victim here was just too freaked out by this incident to make me believe he'd staged this. Which leads me to think that while you may be right about this being a matter of biology, someone is directing the biology.

SCULLY: How does one direct bugs?

REYES: I don't know how but we've been running down a long list of witnesses.

(REYES hands SCULLY a series of photographs of the crowd on the video.)

REYES: A loner who was present at every dumb ass stunt and who had a run-in with this kid Winky at school just prior to the lice attacking. His name is Dylan Lokensgard. We're going to want to talk to him.




SCENE 10

(Lokensgard Residence.)

(DYLAN is looking at himself in the mirror. He has his hand around his jaw as if feeling for something. He clock hanging on his wall reads 7:25. DYLAN is thoughtful as he looks at himself in the mirror. The doorbell rings below. He's startled and leaves his room to get a look at who might be there. From the top of the stairs, DYLAN can see his mother speaking with someone who's standing just outside the door.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: It's just not a good time right now. He's unable to talk.

(MRS. LOKENSGARD closes the door and looks up just in time to see DYLAN leave the top of the staircase and retreat to his bedroom. From his bedroom window, DYLAN sees NATALIE leave the front walkway. His mother knocks on his bedroom door.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Dylan? Dylan, I want to have a talk with you. [Closed-caption adds the line: I saw you up here.]

(DYLAN grabs his jacket and heads for the window. He pushes the curtain aside.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Honey, can you come out here?

(DYLAN climbs out of the window and makes his way down the trellis.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Dylan? Dylan? Dylan!

(DYLAN jumps down to the ground outside as NATALIE drives away from his house. He turns nervously around thinking that his mother may have spotted him leaving. No one's there. He makes his way toward the street. His mother intercepts him before he leaves the front yard.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: where are you going?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: To school.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: I know where you're going.

(DYLAN looks down at his feet.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Well, what did Natalie want?

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: You stay away from her. Dylan, she's no good for you. She's only going to get you into trouble.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Natalie and I are friends. We've been friends since we were kids.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: But you're not kids anymore, Dylan. Which is why we need to talk, honey.

(DYLAN lets out a frustrated sigh.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: You're going through changes. Your body is going through changes.

(He pushes past her and gets his bike.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: You don't understand anything. I don't want to talk to you. I wish dad was still here. You don't know anything about me.

(DYLAN rides off to school.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Honey, I want what's best for you. Dylan! Come back Dylan!




SCENE 11

(Middle of unknown street.)

(DR. ROCKY BRONZINO is looking out on the deserted street.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: So many flowers ... so little time.

SCULLY: Excuse me?

ROCKY BRONZINO: Pheromones, Dr. Scully. Heavy in the air. Nature's natural attractants. Driving the insect world to go forth and pollinate.

SCULLY: I'm aware of how pheromones work. But according to this device there isn't a single pheromone to be found out here.

ROCKY BRONZINO: Well, that can't be right. The bio-sensor we uses an actual fly antennae over which the pheromones pass. But I modified the EAG to measure in picograms which makes it sensitive to traces a mile in any direction. But I'm still not sure why you think that pheromones might cause an otherwise harmless fly to attack a human so violently, Doctor ...

ROCKY BRONZINO: Rocky.

SCULLY: Rocky.

ROCKY BRONZINO: Bugs are small-minded creatures, and therefore very predictable. They don't have moods, E. They react to circumstance and stimuli as they have been doing for millennia.

SCULLY: So what do you suppose they're reacting to out here?

ROCKY BRONZINO: It may be the bugs are being somehow driven crazy with desire. You know, they say we humans respond to pheromones, too.

SCULLY: Yeah, I tend to agree with that, yeah.

ROCKY BRONZINO: "Women's dormitory syndrome." It's believed that pheromones are the reason that women who live together share the same menstrual cycle.

SCULLY: Fascinating.

ROCKY BRONZINO: You know, when a male and female calliphorid fly mate they stay joined for up to one and a half hours. One and a half, doctor.

SCULLY: You know, Rocky ... I'm a mother.

ROCKY BRONZINO: Mothers are women, too.

(SCULLY takes a deep breath to respond, but is interrupted by the beeping of the pheromone bio-sensor.)

ROCKY BRONZINO (excited): Big hit!

SCULLY: What is it?

ROCKY BRONZINO: A high concentration of c-13 calliphorone ... (ROCKY BRONZINO looks up.) Incoming.

(SCULLY looks up. The beeping increases as DYLAN LOKENSGARD passes behind them on his bicycle. SCULLY and ROCKY BRONZINO are still looking up at the sky.)




SCENE 12

(School parking lot.)

(NATALIE parks her car and gets out.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Natalie!

(DYLAN rides his bike straight past NATALIE and into the bushes in front of her parked car.

NATALIE GORDON: Dylan?

(DYLAN emerges from the bushes. He heads for the school. NATALIE walks with him.)

NATALIE GORDON: Are you all right?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I'm fine.

NATALIE GORDON: What about your bike?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Um, I'll get it later.

NATALIE GORDON: I came by your house to see you.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Oh, really?

NATALIE GORDON: Yeah, your mom made it sound like there was something wrong with you.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Me? I'm fine. What-what did you want?

(NATALIE sighs.)

NATALIE GORDON: I wanted to apologize about what happened yesterday in the cafeteria. Winky can be such a jerk. I was just worried about you.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: W-w-what'd I say?

NATALIE GORDON: Nothing. No one understands. My mom and dad think it's just going to go away. What I'm feeling ...

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: You-you mean about Bill?

(NATALIE nods.)

NATALIE GORDON: I wish I could just turn back time. I wish we could just ... make everything go away and start all over again.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I know. Like-like when we were kids.

NATALIE GORDON: Yeah. Remember the night we played hide-and-seek on your street?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Manhunt.

NATALIE GORDON: We hid in the tree together.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Our names are still carved in it.

( Awkward laugh. The bell rings.)

NATALIE GORDON: I'm-I'm going to get marked late.

(NATALIE walks lone back to class.)

REYES: Dylan Lokensgard? Can you come with us, Dylan?




SCENE 13

(Principal Lokensgard's Office.)

(The video is playing. DYLAN's watching the video. REYES offers DYLAN a tissue and he takes one, wiping the sweat off of his face.)

Winky (on video): Now the awesome Captain Dare will make dumb ass history in a scientifically-modified shopping cart of doom. Rolling down this hill...

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: why are you showing me this?

REYES: What do you think of it?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: You mean, the dumb ass show?

DOGGETT: That, and the kids who make it.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I know them, you know...

REYES: you ever have contact with bill? The kid who played captain dare?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: No.

DOGGETT: You have anything against him?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: No.

REYES: Do you think it's strange that he was attacked and killed by insects?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Who wouldn't?

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: What's going on in here?

REYES: We're talking to Dylan.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Oh, no, you're not. Dylan...

DOGGETT: Ma'am...

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: No one interrogates my son in my office without my permission.

REYES: Just calm down, Mrs. Lokensgard.

(Flies buzz on the ceiling. They're amassing on the ceiling with every passing moment.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: He's not a part of that crowd. What are you accusing him of?

DOGGETT: We're not accusing him. Just trying to see what he knows.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: He doesn't know anything.

REYES: He was at the crime scene.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Yeah, well, so were a lot of kids. Dylan ...

(PRINCIPAL LOKENSGARD looks at DYLAN and stops mid-sentence. DOGGETT and REYES turn around to see DYLAN covered in flies.)




SCENE 14

(School parking lot.)

(DOGGETT walks out of the school. On his way out he passes men in decontamination or exterminating suits.)

DOGGETT: You're too late, gentlemen. Bugs are gone. Bugs are all gone. (No one's listening to him.) Whatever.

(Outside REYES is watching the EMTs check out DYLAN LOKENSGARD.)

DOGGETT: How's he doing?

REYES: He's unhurt, apparently. Not so much as a single bite on him.

(MRS. LOKENSGARD takes DYLAN from the EMT and urges him toward her car.)

DOGGETT: Mrs. Lokensgard? I don't think we've finished talking to Dylan.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Oh, yes, you have! We're going home.

(Before DYLAN gets into the car, DAVID WINKLE and his brother are standing off to the side glaring at him with accusation. DYLAN sees this and gets into the car. DOGGETT and REYES watch the car drive away.)

DOGGETT: I've said it before and I'll say it again: The whole reason this case is attracting flies is because somebody's full of crap.

REYES: I think what we just saw was a show. Dylan Lokensgard caused those bugs to attack him to make himself look like a victim instead of the perpetrator.

DOGGETT: Okay, but how? This guy's a horse whisperer, only for bugs?

REYES: I don't know how he's doing it but I may know a way to find out.

(REYES leaves DOGGETT.)




SCENE 15

(Elevator hallway.)

(Elevator bell dings. SCULLY emerges carrying a tissue in a metal container. She is flanked by both DOGGETT and REYES.)

SCULLY: Where did you get this?

DOGGETT: Dylan Lokensgard provided it to us when we interviewed him.

SCULLY: I have to warn you, there's typically not a lot to be found in a teenage boy's sweaty kleenex.

REYES: We were looking for pheromones. Aren't there pheromones produced in adolescent sweat?

SCULLY: Yes, it's what causes B.O., But all too obviously it's not all that attractive--to anything.




SCENE 16

(Medical Examiner'S Office.)

(ROCKY BRONZINO is in the office working on his laptop. His bio-sensor is emitting low steady beeps. When the agents walk in with the sample, the bio- sensor's beeps become progressively faster, the close the sample gets. ROCKY BRONZINO is excited by the development.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: I've got a reading here that's going right off the scale. Holy Toledo! We've got pheromones coming out the ying-yang here. C-13 calliphorene and how.

(The beeping continues becoming more rapid as the sample gets closer to the sensor. The beeping becomes a steady tone. Then it stops.)

DOGGETT: What happened?

ROCKY BRONZINO: I think my electroantennogram just... tilted.

REYES: What's c-13 calliphorone?

SCULLY: Insect pheromone.

ROCKY BRONZINO: Where did you find this mother lode?

REYES: A boy named Dylan Lokensgard. That specimen came from him.

ROCKY BRONZINO: A boy ... is secreting bug pheromones? That's impossible. Preposterous.

DOGGETT: You're the expert Dr. Bronzino. How else do you explain it, then?

SCULLY: Rocky?

ROCKY BRONZINO: A boy is a boy, a bug is a bug. You can't have it both ways.

(ROCKY BRONZINO doesn't have a theory. SCULLY takes a deep breath. They need to discuss this.)

SCULLY: Okay, so this boy's going through puberty, right? I mean, maybe his body chemistry is somehow just going crazy and it's his raging teenage hormones that are attracting all these insects.

REYES: What if it's more than chemistry and hormones? More than biology?

REYES: Dylan's not just attracting these bugs he's using them to act out.

SCULLY: Yes, but against what?

REYES: We saw him talking to a girl.

DOGGETT: The one in the dumb ass video. Captain dare's girlfriend.




SCENE 17

(Dylan's bedroom.)

(DYLAN is lying in bed. He's looking at a class picture of NATALIE GORDON. A PINK FLOYD rock ballad is playing in the background. Outside, we hear a Volkswagen engine chugging. DYLAN hears it too. He stashes the picture under his pillow and looks out his bedroom window to see NATALIE's her red Volkswagen parked outside his street. He opens his window, sticks his head outside and calls to her.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Natalie ... ?

NATALIE GORDON: Dylan?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: What are you doing?

NATALIE GORDON: I need to talk to you, Dylan.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: You have to be quiet--It's my mom, she's going to hear you.

NATALIE GORDON: I'm coming up.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: What? No.

(DYLAN runs to the bedroom door hoping to stop her before she gets up, but NATALIE is already at his window. He opens the window for her. She smiles at him. He helps her into his room.)

NATALIE GORDON: Hey... you're going to break your neck.

[Closed-Caption reads: NATALIE GORDON: I needed to see you. ]

(He signals for her to be quiet and closes his bedroom door.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Shh.

(NATALIE looks around DYLAN's room.)

NATALIE GORDON: I haven't been here in so long.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Since 4th grade. After school. And it was a Wednesday in April. "A dream in a mist of gray." That's from a Syd Barrett song.

NATALIE GORDON: How do you know all these things?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: My dad told me. Syd Barrett, he was in the band Pink Floyd. He was, like this brilliant guy that nobody understood.

NATALIE GORDON: Kind of like you?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Me?

NATALIE GORDON: I never said I was sorry when your dad disappeared, Dylan. I never said a lot of things. But I want to say them now. I know you've always cared about me. We've grown apart, but ... I haven't forgotten you. And... after we talked this morning at school I realized ... how special you really are to me.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I can't believe this.

NATALIE GORDON: After what happened to Bill ... I realized how important it is to have someone who does understand you and ... I wanted to do this.

(NATALIE lightly kisses DYLAN.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: That ... that was amazing.

(They deepen the kiss and NATALIE whimpers and moves away from DYLAN. Her mouth is bleeding.)

NATALIE GORDON: What... what... was that?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: What was what?

NATALIE GORDON: Your ... your ... your mouth, your tongue ... there's something wrong with you.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: No, don't-don't say that.

NATALIE GORDON: I got to go.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Natalie, please. Please, don't. Just stay.

(NATALIE runs out of DYLAN's bedroom through the door. DYLAN runs after her. NATALIE drives away in her car, crying.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Natalie, listen to me! Natalie, please ...

(DYLAN watches NATALIE drive away from him. Behind him, another car pulls up and stops. DAVID WINKLE, his brother and friends emerge.)

DAVID WINKLE: Hey, bug boy! How about we go for a little buzz around the block.




SCENE 18

(David Winkle's car.)

DAVID WINKLE: So, Lokensgard... how'd you do it, huh? How'd you kill him?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I thought bugs killed Captain Dare.

DAVID WINKLE: Yeah, bugs who do what you say.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: You want to know how I did it? I'll show you. But maybe you should get your camera ready.

DAVID WINKLE: What are you talking about?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I just have to open my mouth. Look!

(DYLAN opens his mouth and a pair of insect-like mandibles show. They emit a webbing on the unsuspecting boys that causes the car to veer and swerve off the road. The car hits the side of the hill and flips over as it comes to a complete stop.)




SCENE 19

(Lokensgard's Residence.)

(SCULLY and ROCKY BRONZINO walk up the LOKENSGARD's front walk way. The door is partially open. SCULLY knocks.)

SCULLY: Mrs. Lokensgard? Dylan?

(ROCKY BRONZINO turns on his machine and a series of steady beeps sound.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: I'm getting a reading here. Trace levels inside the house.

SCULLY: Well, I guess that's probable cause.

(SCULLY starts up the stairs to search the premises. She's stopped by the eager ROCKY BRONZINO.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: Dr. Scully? This is so exciting. I've never had a partner before.

SCULLY: I have.

ROCKY BRONZINO: I'd like to think of it as a hymenopteran relationship. Two scientists using their special knowledge reaching higher than either of them could ever reach alone. And if I may say so, Doctor, you complete me.

SCULLY: I got upstairs, you take down.

ROCKY BRONZINO: All right.




SCENE 20

(Glenhaven Road.)

(DOGGETT and REYES come across the overturned DAVID WINKLE's car. They approach the car and the kids can be heard.)

BOY: hey!

DAVID WINKLE: Who's that?

BOY: Someone's coming.

BOY: Ow!

BOY: Get us out!

(More moaning, groaning and coughing coming from the car. As DOGGETT and REYES peer into the car, the boys are upside down and covered in webbing.)

BOY: oh, god. Ow! God!

DOGGETT: David Winkle, is that you?

DAVID WINKLE: Yeah.

DOGGETT: Now that's a dumb ass.

DAVID WINKLE: It wasn't a stunt, it was, uh... it was Dylan Lokensgard. He attacked us.

REYES: He attacked you?

DAVID WINKLE: Yeah, the dude's a freakin' bug. He chewed right out the back window. Ow!

(DOGGETT shines his light on the back window to see it missing.)

REYES (to DOGGETT): You stay. I'll go see that Dylan didn't head to that girl's house.




SCENE 21

(Lokensgard Residence.)

(SCULLY is in DYLAN's bedroom. She sees NATALIE's class picture on the bed and the various Syd Barrett posters on the walls.

( Phone ringing )

SCULLY: Scully.

DOGGETT: Where are you?

SCULLY: I'm with ROCKY at the Lokensgard's house. But there's nobody here.

DOGGETT: Yeah, well, I'm afraid the kid's on a tear. He's caused a car accident out here on Glenhaven road.

SCULLY: How'd he do that?

DOGGETT: You'd better see for yourself.

(SCULLY makes her way downstairs while ROCKY is just starting his way up.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: C-13 calliphorone. I'm getting a stiff new reading from up here.

SCULLY: Yeah, Dylan's bedroom's up there. Unfortunately, he's not in it.

ROCKY BRONZINO: Where are you going?

SCULLY: The kid's on a rampage.

(ROCKY notices the reading on his machine.)

ROCKY BRONZINO: Whoa!

SCULLY: You got my number, partner.




SCENE 22

(Natalie Gordon'S Residence.)

(REYES approaches NATALIES bedroom. NATALIE is lying in bed.)

REYES: Natalie?

NATALIE GORDON: Whoever you are, leave me alone.

REYES: Natalie, I'm Monica Reyes, with the FBI. I'm here because I need your help. It's about Dylan Lokensgard.

NATALIE GORDON: Don't say that name around me!

REYES: It's important. You may be the key to this, to stopping him.

NATALIE GORDON: Dylan Lokensgard is a freak! I thought he was the normal one.

REYES: Dylan was normal, just like any other kid. Whatever it is he's going through it has to do with what he's beco...

NATALIE GORDON: He kissed me!

REYES: And it's probably what he's living for. And now it's probably why he lost all control and attacked David Winkle and his brother.

NATALIE GORDON: He attacked Winky?

REYES: They're going to be okay. We just want to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone else, Natalie. All right?

(NATALIE nods her head.)

REYES: Come with me.

(NATALIE stands to go with REYES and gasps at something behind her. Behind REYES, DYLAN LOKENSGARD is standing in her doorway.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Why did you run from me?

NATALIE GORDON: What is wrong with you?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: I'm different, Natalie ... isn't that what you wanted? Somebody different from Bill and Winky?

NATALIE GORDON: You killed Bill.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: To keep you from being killed. And now you're coming with me.

(DYLAN holds out his hand to NATALIE. REYES reaches for her weapon.)

REYES: Just stay where you are, Dylan.




SCENE 23

(Lokensgard Residence.)

(ROCKY BRONZINO continues his ascent deeper into the LOKENSGARD residence all the while keeping an eye on his bio-sensor. He makes his way up the attic stairs and into the attic. He proceeds deeper into the attic. He hears a noise behind him. He turns around and comes face to face with MRS. LOKENSGARD. There is insect-like mandibles coming out of her mouth. Webbing shoots out from the mandibles catching ROCKY BRONZINO by surprise.)




SCENE 24
(Lokensgard Residence.)

(MRS. LOKENSGARD closes the door, she turns around and hears DYLANS voice coming from the ground floor. NATALIE stands behind DYLAN.)

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: Don't try to stop me. That little talk that you wanted to have with me? It'll have to wait.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: Where do you think you're going?

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: It's where we're going, me and Natalie. I'll be taking the car.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: You'll be doing nothing of the sort.

DYLAN LOKENSGARD: You don't want to cross me, mom. I am not some kid everybody can kick around anymore.

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: You think I don't know what you are? It's what I've been trying to tell you, Dylan to save you from what you are about to do. These are the things I couldn't tell you. The things I couldn't tell your father.

(NATALIE listens in shock as she realizes that whatever DYLAN is, his mother is one too.)

MRS. ANNE T. LOKENSGARD: You are not like the other kids. You never will be.




SCENE 25

(Natalie Gordon'S House/Bedroom.)

(DOGGETT makes his way through the house looking for REYES. He reaches NATALIE GORDON'S bedroom and sees a large webbed sack covering the entire wall. REYES is inside that webbed sac.)

DOGGETT: Monica! Monica! Holy mother ... Monica, hold on! Can you hear me? Monica, can you breathe? Monica, talk to me.

(DOGGETT tears into the webbed sac thinking that REYES may not be able to breathe through the webbing. Layer upon layer, he rips away the webbing.)

REYES: He's got the girl.

DOGGETT: Where'd they go?

REYES: To Dylan's house.

DOGGETT: That's where Scully is. She lost phone contact with the entomologist, Bronzino.




SCENE 26

Lokensgard Residence.)

(SCULLY approaches the opened doorway with her weapon drawn. She hears something and raises her weapon and her flashlight as she rounds the corner into the living room. NATALIE GORDON is sitting in a corner chair and crying.)

SCULLY: Where are they?

(NATALIE GORDON is beyond being able to speak.

SCULLY: Natalie!

(NATALIE GORDON continues to cry. She manages to point upstairs. SCULLY raises her weapon and the flashlight and proceeds up the stairs. SCULLY makes her way up the attic. To her horror she finds large human-sized webbed sacs in the attic. There are many of them hanging from various positions in the ceiling. One of the sacs whimpers. SCULLY swings around.)

BRONZINO ( muffled ): Help me.

(SCULLY steps up to get a closer look at the sac.

BRONZINO: Help me.

(SCULLY peels away the webbing to find ROCKY BRONZINO within.




SCENE 27

(Final series of clips.)

(Officers scramble up the stairs followed by DOGGETT and REYES who in turn stop as they watch SCULLY astride ROCKY BRONZINO administering CPR to the man on the floor who is obviously not in need of it.

SCULLY (VOICE OVER): Four more bodies were found in the Lokensgard attic including that of Michael Lokensgard, Dylan's father, long reported missing.

(DOGGETT peels away the webbing from one of the sacs revealing a decomposed body of a figure who wore a "Syd Barrett" t-shirt. This is presumably Michael Lokensgard, Dylan's father.)

SCULLY (VOICE OVER): It now appears that he, like the others, fell victim to Dylan's mother who, in Dr. Rocky Bronzino's expert opinion, was neither human nor insect but something in between. A biological anomaly, whose differences from the rest of humanity could be hidden only for so long.

(On an roadway, MRS. LOKENSGARD and her son, DYLAN LOKENSGARD, drives away to places unknown. DYLAN is not happy. He raises his hand to touch the car window.)

SCULLY (VOICE OVER): However strong Dylan Lokensgard's yearning to fit in, to win acceptance, to love and to be loved he could not defeat the unseen forces which direct behaviour.

(NATALIE GORDON is awake in her bed at home. Lights from outside glow through her bedroom window. NATALIE looks outside to see a swarm of fireflies light the sky with the message, "I Love You". NATALIE smiles.)

SCULLY (VOICE OVER): In the struggle between our desire to determine who and what we will be and the identity which biology defines for us there can only be one outcome. But even in victory, there are forces biology can not defeat -- the stirring of the soul the mysteries of desire the simple truth that the heart wants ... what the heart wants.

(NATALIE raises her hand to touch the window.)

[THE END]





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